How to discuss politics at Thanksgiving

Never forget, just like stuffing is scooped from the turkey’s butt after it’s cooked, the media also pulls their scoop from their butts after it’s cooked.  

With Thanksgiving coming up, I thought it fitting to follow-up my “Three Rules on How To Fight w/ Family Over Politics” video with a post directly addressing Thanksgiving Dinner.  (Assuming we have a Thanksgiving.)  I think it’s only appropriate we bring food into it.

Immediately below is my “Three Rules on How to Fight with Family Over Politics” video.  The video on “How to Fight With Family at Thanksgiving” is at the bottom.

President-“Elect” Biden has to get the benefit of the doubt and be the turkey.  As with all turkeys, it’s all in how well he’s prepared.  If he’s going to be edible, it’s only after a chef cooks, stuffs and seasons him to make him taste better.  If he comes out too dry, you can always drown him with gravy.  You can also give the kids hope by giving him his wish bone.  (They don’t know their wish won’t come true.)

Trump is yams.  The orange color fits.  I also figured less than half the people like yams and it’s usually older people trying to convince the younger people that they’re delicious and good for you.  But the kids don’t buy it.  They think yams “make them wiggle”.  If the older generation wants to make yams more appealing, they may want to consider giving them a little sugar with the yams and serve candied yams.

Kamala is cranberry sauce.  It looks delicious but, after a bite or two, you realize it doesn’t taste good because someone put nuts in it.  Cranberry sauce is also good for leftover sandwiches but it’s important to realize the cranberry is just an accent to the rest of the sandwich.  It’s not a stand-alone dish or sandwich.

Pence is mashed potatoes.  It’s the white hair that gets him mashed potatoes.  That and I figure he andTrump are a team so we should keep them together in the root vegetable family.  Pence, like plain potatoes, are a little plain by themselves.  If he wants to be more appealing to more people, he’s going to need to be juiced up with a little salt, butter and a boat of gravy.  You’re also okay to play with him a little.  Maybe you can shape him into the mountain from the movie Close Encounters of Third Kind.  Because they think he’s evil and all, the Close Encounter’s mountain might make left leaners feel better because it’s called Devil’s Tower.

Devil’s Tower

The media is stuffing.  It tastes great in the beginning.  You can’t get enough but you overindulge and can’t eat anything else.  Never forget, just like stuffing is scooped from the turkey’s butt after it’s cooked, the media also pulls their scoop from their butts after it’s cooked.

Alcohol is social media.  It’s what creates all the fights.  You start out toasting friends and family but, like alcohol, it helps reveal what people truly believe.  People can’t believe a family member can actually think differently from you so you think you can convince them they’re wrong.  So you go back and forth fighting and ultimately end up not speaking to each other ever again.  (See my Three Rules to Fighting video above if things get physical.)

The mess to clean up at the end is the country.  Everyone claims they’re going to do their part to help clean up the mess but it’s usually just a couple people that do all the work while the rest sit around with the top button of their pants unbuttoned.

I know it’s Thanksgiving but there’s no reason to thank me for this post.  Okay.  You can if you want.  Maybe you can just give me a “Much obliged”.

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